我还想他

泪水将我淹没到底谁该难过

究竟是谁放掉这段感情

我才终于明白办不到的承诺

就成了枷锁

现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉他我不爱他

笑着难过自我惩罚

想终止这一切挣扎

横了心说真心谎话

别告诉她我还想他

恨总比爱容易放下

当泪水堵住了胸口

就让沉默代替所有回答

我不爱我不痛我不懂

我的心早已经掏空

真心话言不由衷

everthing ends tonight!!

anything...this blog was end... forever love... was gone.. sorry for breaking my promise..

to li jie.. don always say i dunno how to be his gf so tat he will fall in love v u .. i noe him more than u do.. it's not like tat...

li jie.. although i always disturb u is my fault... but do u think u did nothing wrong also?? ya .. fren go out was not a wrong.. but secretly be with my bf is a wrong.. u dont know the feeling.. it's even hurt than die.. li jie.. do watever things.. think of ur future.. u wont wan ur future bf got the same problem like i do.. just.. be truth...

bi... forever love.. does not exist if u keep on lying.. apple leave u .. cause she dont trust u .. i leave u .. is because of i trust u .. i trust u until i can blame myself.. until i can hurt myself.. until i can hate myself enough to love u .. baby.. a truth is more than enough..

i'm tired.. i quit this game le... i mean.. 3 ppl in a relationship was not wat i want.. i'm sorry..

blog is dead!!

love is dead!!

yuki is dead!!

ming zhang in my heart... dead!!

bye bloggy..

*it ends tonight*

before regrets..

i used 30 minutes reading a touching story tat my friend sent it to me through email... my heart was crying .. told myself don cry in pubic anymore.. tat's super ugly..i want u now.. i wan a big hug from u now.. telling u how much i love u .. how much i need u..love ... is not wat we say simply fall in love and simply give up.. in this relationship.. i cried..i hurt.. i sad.. emotion change every moment/. but baby.. the only things tat wouldn't change was my love..

i knew .. i told u a lot of times before tat i wanted to change.. i wanted to forget her.. but baby.. i already forget the past.. the only thing was now.. close 1 eye yuki.. i told myself.. told myself u wasn't purposely don let me go .. u want me to study.. u don want me to skip class.. baby..i dont wanna find out the truth anymore.. baby.. u said i simply think.. but .. how long i've been together v u ?? next week .. was 11months we've been together.. do u think i still dont understand u? baby.. i was in ur heart.. do u expect me to feel wrong when i'm in ur heart? forget bout it alright?? forget bout it...

do you love me? asking this question again and again.. wasn't trying to make u fed up.. just wish to hear tat u told me u love me.. baby.. dont tell me everything was too early for us.. tat's nothing to do v our relationship.. we wouldn't noe wat will happen to us in future.. i just wish to be with u happily for this moment.. never say it's too early .. or else.. it will be too late for us.. telling u i love u everyday.. wasn't fake feeling from me.. i really wish to tell u how much i love u.. how much i fall for u.. who noes.. maybe i'm not in this world anymore and i cant even tell u tat i love u.. maybe u will feel bored of those sweet sweet words from me.. but.. still i'm serious..

in this relationship.. i'm very serious very truthful very sincere.. i'm already 19 years old..for the past 18 years.. i never been so serious before..i work out very hard.. just to be with u as long as i can..i realize.. love is not a game.. love is not a feeling tat u can control as wat as u like.. finding a right person in ur life is not tat easy.. fall in love ?? tat's hard for me.. tat's the reason why i'm holding on.. keep holding on.. how suffer i am.. keep holding on.. whether u will leave me 1 day or not.. at least i wont regret tat i never give up on u ..

i'm sorry.. sorry for being a disturbing girlfriend.. sorry for always making u mad at me.. sorry for those argument.. sorry for being so immature.. baby.. for everything .. i was glad.. to be your girlfriend.. i always thank God for letting me to met u.. i appreciate every moment together with you.. with all my heart.. i love u.. never ever wannat let u go.. unless.. u wanna leave me.. i'll give up baby... maybe i will learn to give up .. if u wanna leave me so badly..

to yvonne.. i dont mind if u feel tat i'm fake or anything.. i did nothing wrong.. i never find ur BOY!! if u wanna revenge on me with anything .. go ahead.. i'm tired of preventing from u .. and yeah.. dont ever think tat u r the only 1 loyal girl in this world.. u dont understand me.. u don know wat's going on.. just shut ur mind out of me.. okay.!







p/s: i wana hear it ends tonight now.. sadness ends right now!!
pp/s:dont waste time on fox-ing me.. if u want.. go ahead
ppp/s: heading to my class now..see ya^^

pic pic season~~

hi..yea..was me again..

back to my blog again.. just dont know why.. everytime i feel sad or unhappy .. i'll back to blog huggie..and split out some of my feeling.. not all actually.. still got 50% kept in my heart!ermm.. don wanna post emo post eh.. although i'm not in mood.. how bout sharing pictures?? i actually taken some picture past few days of wat i've done.. i post it out here lar then.^^

well.. didnt bought this dress.. it cost RM99.90 eh!!maybe it's not expensive for some people.. but for me.. it was..

someone laugh at me when i took this picture.. wat to do ?? i never been through ...

....KL Tower marr..

Tall har?? huge whey..

Diamond??Nah ..lame !

I feel this was funny.. dont u think about tat??Hmmm...

lol...I don even give up on cute baby in KL TOWER!

Must remember me oo.. when u get popular in future.. wakaka~~

~THE END~

p/s: try the song makes me wonder bu maroon 5.. it's nice..^^

dead and gone please...

teach me !!! how to trust u when i got things to prove tat u r lying?? i dont wanna to mess up ur holiday .. n i just want u to be truth to me .. baby.. is tat hard?? i was like clown today .. crying on the street so madly .. i was like mad people hurting myself so badly .. wat u feel? u still can enjoy your holiday there?? my hands still got the deep red line there.. u noe how pain am i ?? if wanted to compare the pain.. my heart was worst !! you noe how i spend the 8 hours at subang?? i wans alone at the playground.. crying again and again.. thinking again and again.. wat should i do?? why am i so sad.. why all these happened?? baby.. u treat me very nice yesterday and today.. but .. why let me found out the lie again??

i having heavy headache.. my high heels seriously damage.. i'm totally a nerds right now.. still got guy trying to take my number?? wat the hell!!! joker ..i'm really very inconsolable..i noe u treat me very good.. but baby.. u noe wat .. i wan truth!!! a lie is more than enough to kill my heart!! i really very tired now!!





p/s:enjoy your trip .. anyway..
pp/s: still remember the video?? wat u promise me?? wat u said to me?? i hope .. it's all truth!!
ppp/s: my hands look super ugly.
pppp/s: my head and leg super pain..
ppppp/s: my heart need to settle down..
pppppp/s: i love u .. trust in u not to let u cheat.. be truth before regret..
ppppppp/s: kill me!!

*dead and gone please!!*

爱你的心..爱到不懂得怎么表达了..讲也讲累了..吵也吵累了..真的不懂的该怎么做了..

b...o..r......e....d

hi ..was supposed to blog the past few days .. but i'm sooo super duper lazy ..well .. why am i blogging right now cause i was too bored.. suppose to finish class at 9.30 but end early today .. and i did not know where to spend my time for 2hours30minutes.. so damn lifeless eh.. here comes the song Mr. lonely ^^

i almost fall asleep in the lecture again.. AGAIN!! cause i cant even sleep for the whole night.. there's really a lot of stuff in my mind.. and yet .. is all about a person.. just you.. you can ruins up all my mind..i felt so .. funny..

the question tat u ask me yesterday.. till not .. those words haven't digest in my mind yet.. so hurt...so cool.. haha.. i can feel the pain in my heart..

errr...suddenly i'm blank!! stuck in front of comp dunno wat to cont.. anyway..people around me seems like suffering from sickness.. vicvic babe and my baby.. pls take good care of yourself..again.. drink lots lots of water..take enough rest alright?? hmmm... when will it be my turn to sick?? =.= *eww..weirdo!!*

ohya.. i learnt tis word ~GAP~ yesterday actually .. and today's lecture i saw the word.. interesting isn't it? but i prefer ~NO GAP~ *peace*

alright, am going to have my breakfast now..chaozz




p/s: I LOVE YOU//

tiring day

i'm freak out!!exhausted!!inconsolable!!pretty tired today.. as i only slept for 3hours..i'm not rushing for assignment.. not preparing for examinations.. but moody.. cause of something.. i cant sleep well for the night.. wat's wrong with me .. dont ask me.. i also don't know..

well.. just finish statistic.. i was like .. oh thank Godness .. i was nearly fall asleep in the lecture hall .. but i'm strong .. wakaka..alone at resourse centre.. just dont feel like find anyone.. need alone.. well .. worlds.. full of liars.. who should i trust anyway..

something happened.. and i'm really pretty sure about it .. but he deny it.. make me confuse again.. i said.. if it's true, just admit! and yeah.. it's true.. i'm not using my feeling to make decision .. but it's all based on the what have been proven.. i'm tired.. really very tired.. how many forgiveness i've given..what should i do right now?? i don't know.. let it over like that.. and both of you stil meeting up as you 2 like?? i just cant take it ..

yea .. you both are not couple.. but what baby.. not all people in love that need to couple.. you both can stil be friend but there's a lot of things between both of you.. she's tricky.. you're misterious.. i just want truth!!! is that hard?? no ... it's not.. when i'm telling the truth.. when i'm doing the right things .. i won't regret in the end.. i wont feel bad about myself.. at least i true to myself .. right??

i love u .. i really do.. everyday u will heard or saw this three words from me.. did i miss it even 1 day?? no .. i never.. just because of i'm afraid that you don't know how deep my love towards you .. baby.. being with you .. it's the best things in my life.. although there's a lot of sad things that i've gone through.. but still i'm happy to be with u .. are u?? i'm satisfy v a boyfriend like u .. eventhough .. u r hot tempered .. just because of you gave me the feeling .. not the matter of good looking or not.. that's the reason why i'm afraid of losing u ..

baby.. can you just don't lie to me anymore ?? yesterday was the last time.. can we just .... be truthful and sincere to both of us?? i just .. want a simple love .. simple love baby!! remember what we've told each other?? "no secret between us" i did it.. but baby.. how bout u?? do you still want me to stay beside u?? i dont wanna to make decision.. stay by your side is what i want.. but ..i dont like forcing baby.. if you dont wanna to be with me .. just tell me alright??

baby..although i've wish you yesterday .. but i'll wish u now again alright?? all the best baby.. good luck!!

and yeah:

I LOVE YOU!!

weird weird feeling

i'm feeling weird..T.T feel very lonely .. dunno wat to do.. i havin a heavy headache.. really very pain.. tired exhausted..i cant explain all of my feeling .. was very very weird.. i dont even know wat i feel now.. stupid..

lonely > post blog > miss u but keep my hands off my phone > wan sleep but wanted to wait u ..

yea i'm weird.. sorry..

aikss.. forget bout weird yuki.. suddenly have this thought.. "sorry" i dunno since when.. i started to say sorry easily.. no matter i did wrong or not.. i just say sorry.. but not to everyone.. to u .. baby..
i know it might let u feel nothing after i've been apologize for so many times.. it's really very very a lot a lot of times.. right baby?? but wat else i can do when u r mad at me?

i'm hearing the song single oo.. very nice oo..

10.58PM - i was worrying how u gonna back later.. but u told me u dont know..u sounds like i'm bothering u baby..am i? 2 weeks time .. i dont get to keep in touch v u nicely..i'm happy when u calling me baby..i'm happy when u telling me tat u love me..but i'm sad .. when u mad at me and don care me a lot... yea.. i understand.. exam is more than everything.. i shouldn't just stick v u too overly.. i'm sorry ..

hearing it ends tonight oh baby.. i love this song.. u noe mar??^^ all the unhappiness things should ends tonight.. cause when darkness turns to light.. it ends tonight.. only the things wouldn't end.. was my love to u ..i love u baby...

lalala..here goes my wishes to u .."baby..tomolo micro arr.. exam at afternoon hor.. jia you wor k?? add oil add oil oo.. K@mBat3 ya.. muacks muacks.. i love u wor.."








p/s:i got 8o'clock class tomolo..pity lonely me.. sob..goodnight goodnight^^

....

suddenly only.. i get doubt .. get scold bad words .. when i did nothing wrong.. I REALLY DID NOTHING WRONG!!! why scold me bad words?? even when i do something wrong.. u don have to scold me bad words.. just mad at me like u wan without bad words? cant u?? i'm your gf!!! u noe how hurt am i when u scold me bad words? how hurt am i when u talk bout me v other guys
?? n i was get scolded tis time when i did nothing wrong!!!! i didnt talk on phone k? i swear !! just now daddy called me ask me wat's the meaning of elergic.. and then ask me to pass the phone to mom.. if i lie to u .. i'll get bang by car tomolo morning n suffer from painful for 100 years!!!

when u told me ur mom used ur phone and called others.. did i ask u to pass ur phone to ur mom?? baby.. my mom will feel tat u very childish k? just think for ur side can mar?? if i really pass the phone to mom.. wat will my mom think?? how can we move on for yearssS?? why cant u understand my feeling??

baby why.... why are u scolding me bad words??? i hate that .. i hate u scold bad wrods to me !!! i hate u !!! sob ... why wor .. sob.. i love u .. i like ur care.. i like ur love ... i really don like being scold bad words by u .. baby... sob... can u just ... don scold me bad words?? tat''s hurt.. sob...

you ain't me..

i very moody today.. SOB.. trust not belongs to me? bloggy.. i really very tired.. no ones really understand wat's in my heart.. even the one in my heart.. he still hesitate my love .. hesitate my truthness..i just.. forget it..

i really never ever hold till so long before arr.. i scare tuff life .. scare to suffer.. scare to being scold .. scare to being angry ar...i never tam a guy so hard before.. care a guy feelind so hard before..i very suffer ... baby ... suffer because whenever u dont trust me i have to explain so much which u never ever care about.. suffer when my tears drop non-stop but u still treat me so cruel.. baby.. if i really dont love u why i wan suffer for so long wor?? sob...

i'm sorry .. maybe it's my fault tat i dont gain ur trust .. yea it's my fault.. sob.. i hate u yuki gan .. i hate u .. u don even deserve for love !!! I HATE YOU !!! SOB!!!

to some people out there.. don try to expect me as wat u all think.. u ain't me..u don even understand wat's in my heart then don talk bullshit behind of people.. plss!! unless u r yuki gan mok wen.. FUCK!!! my love is nothing to do v u .. y u wan come and control my life and mess up everything?? did i do tat to u before?? i never.. u love ur one i love my one.. why u till wan backstab me..

GOD!!!why problem came to me again and again ?? can let me rest?? i'm tired of them.. tired of everything.. kill me pls .. instead of leaving these all problem to me?? i hate THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate YUKI GAN MOK WEN!!!!!!!!!!






p/s:at least i did my part! at least i did everything aboveboard!!

nightmare!!

tis few days keep havinng nightmares.. it's all related to u baby.. izzit a signal or wat?? i very scare oo.. u always say i think too much..but i din arr.. i dunno .. i tried my very very best not to talk bout her le arr baby .. don't u feel tat?? but dont know why .. nightmare spinning me around..i hate u Mr.Nightmare!!!hng!!!
end of sad stuff ~~

my happy stuff was..............................................my exam results!!!!
huhu!!! i'm very satisfied v my results!! actually a pass is enough for me.. but it can be better if i work harder .. right?? yuki gan.. blek..ohya.. vic vic babe .. i noe ur management marks is quite near to your aiming.. but it's ok lar.. at least u tried your best ..then there's no regret on urself .. babe .. i'm gonna miss u for this long period... DONT EVER FORGET ME YA!!!!

next week starting my lecture .. i'm going to be alone.. sob sob.. statistic seems hard..management seems hard for me too.. i'm afraid ..someone save me plsss...T.T
going to have investment exam .. and i havent finish studying it yet.. wat a holiday!!

cancel of the uninvited movie.. i cant watch dy .. byebye .. sob sob.. and yet.. aeon theatre was close for a period.. as well as harvey norman.. heard there's an incident from the theatre which affect harvey norman.. pity harvey norman.. anyway, tat's not a big effect on me since i was spending my holiday life at my house..~special isn't it?~
haha...

ermm... saturday which means tomolo will have ur exam.. all the best alright??? WPD only mar.. it's nothing for u .. hehe .. jia you jia you !!! muackss you oo!!!

p/s:i wan easy go lucky!!!

holiday life

Second day of your exam...5 days of cooling period..
u started never find me.. izzit u forget bout me.. u don bother to find me.. or u just too busy till cant even msg me?? i dont understand... am my expextation too high?? am i too over?? i just wish to feel tat u will always remember me.. no matter wat.. how can u remember to online than find me??

YUKI GAN.. no more complaining.. told myself again and again.. i really gonna gone crazy.. wat will happen to our relationship if we continue like tis?? baby .. i really very suffer to be like tis...
can the exam just over faster??

tis few days.. my time was like passing so slow until i feel really very so lifeless!! i'm going crazy!!

accident yesterday!!! BKc8981 second time i took it into accident... i'm sorry buddy.. i should have take very good care of you.. sorry for my clumsyness.. sob sob...4th of november 2008 i got my first accident and i still remember wat had happen on the next day... it hurts me alot alot...21th of april my second accident...crying is not my favourite.. but i just feel sad .. just let me cry .. as i'm an EXTRA ORDINARY INCONSOLABLE PEOPLE!!no harms right???anyway...

my sis skip class today... she having heavy headache.. well .. therefore i'm not home alone today.. u noe ... how i spent my time tis few days??
woke up > wash up > breakfast > watch show > onine offline > hear songs sing songs > seeing my hp again and again (even if my phone response..it always disappointed me cause it wasn't u) > lying thinking > walk here walk there !!!! damn lifeless whey!!!!!

but then that's wat i choose to do.. i rejected my frens invitations.. sorry ya..

and yea .. found my favourite song *it ends tonight*

"when darkness turns to light , it ends tonight ... it ends tonight..."
i should forget bout sad stuff right??but i just cant!!!!
not forgetten this~~~~GOOD LUCK IN YOUR EXAM ALRIGHT???Jia You!!!muackss!!!!





p/s: life sucks!!!

i miss you!!

First day of ur exam.. u seems very happy .. must be u did it very well lor..^^ happy for you oh...

erm...it's 11.26 pm now.. my family all sleeping d lor.. suddenly feel very lonely eh.. wanna msg u or call u .. but i just .. hold my hands off the phone.. (i said wait )^^

seems like time pass very slow eh.. i cant wait to meet u .. i cant stand the feeling without you..

i'm sorry ..

u noe wat .. i found this song.. and i really love it so much..

hatin on the club by rihanna

(Clapping)Now To Sing Her Latest Recording

It's The Beautiful Miss Rihannaoh woahhhoo oh oh(x2)oh

Now this'll be the last time you did me wrong

No more laying up in your arms

No calling, saying you want me back

I'm packing my bags, what you think about that?

Stayed at home like a good girl do

But tonight baby you got me sad and blue

I just heard about the girl in your car

yall, kissing at the bar

Got me cry-yay-yay-yayyyy

[Chorus:]Ohhhhhhhhh, you got me hatin' on the club

'Cause you took my loveOh you took my love

Now you got me like whoahhhhhhhh

You got me hatin' on the club'

Cause you took my love

Why'd you have to take my love

Whoahhhhhhhhoh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oho(x2)

oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oho,uh,oho,uh,oho,uh,oho,uhoho oh

And you can be mad at me all you want

I ain't coming in, I'll be waiting out front

Coming out the door with your girlfriend

You did me wrong boy tell me where our love is

Stayed at home like a good girls do

But tonight baby you got me sad and blue

I just heard about the girl in your car yall, kissing at the bar

Got me cry-yay-yay-yayyy

[Chorus:]Ohhhhhhhhh, you got me hatin' on the club'

Cause you took my loveOh you took my love

Now you got me like whoahhhhhhhh

You got me hatin' on the club

'Cause you took my love

Why'd you have to take my love

Whoahhhhhhhhoh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oho(x2)oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oho,uh,oho,uh,oho,uh,oho,uhoho oh

Now this is the sound of a broken heart

There's only one reason why we're apart

She never woulda made it to your car

If it wasn't for the club, I'd still have my love(x2)

We would still have us(x2)

I'd still have my loveeeeeee(x2)

We would still have us

But now we're like whoahhhh

Ohhh, you got me hatin' on the club'

Cause you took my love

Oh you took my love

But now, now we're like whoahhhhhhh

You got me hatin' on the club

You took my love

Oh you took my love

You Got her hatin on ohhhh

You Got her hatin on the club(x4)club,club,club

You Got her hatin on ohhhh

You Got her hatin on the club

p/s: There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

the meaning of life

i'm not in mood .. and no one knows tat..
i have a conflict with my parents .. which i really dunno how to handle it anymore...
i lose the reason of why am i living for ...

i'll always ask myself the same question again and again.. why am i living in this world?? ans : to my loved ones..(you and my family)
and now.. i disappointed my family.. i left you..
i knew ... i knew tat losing me in ur life doesn't seems any big deal for you.. but still.. i really cant leave u alone..even i know there will be a lot of girls around you..

mommy daddy just argued.. i cant help anything.. i just feel like .. i'm the one that making all these happened.. now again, i lost the meaning of living in this world.. what am i suppose to be?? what should i do ?? i'm sad .. i'm depressed i'm inconsolable.. and the one that i wish to consult me was u .. will u be by my side whenever i need u?? u r the only one baby ..

i had a nightmare yesterday night baby .. i dreamt about you.. i found tears with me when i woke up.. i feel so release when i knew that was just a dream..

bi... i know you are busying with your exam stuff this few days.. i try my best no to make you angry .. try my best not to disturb you.. ain't decreasing my love towards you alright?? and yet.. baby even you are busying with your exam stuff, do take very good care of your health alright?? your important meals - you shouldn't forget about it, water - you might forget but must remember to drink oh, rest - i know.. to finish off your study, u forced yourself to study till late night.. i know u wont hear my advice o sleep early.. anyway take enough rest when you feel free to okay..when you finish off your exam.. we go for vacation okay.. i know wat u going to say .. but if we cant make it to vacation.. then we just have fun by other ways lar ^^

and here are some of my words to you :

To zhang <3

* Good luck lao gong ! i know you can do the best wan oh.. cause lao gong are so hardworking studying this few days..all the best oo lao gong !! you know.. you are always the smartest wan in my heart ~~ although i'm in klang, but i'm here praying for baby during your exam alright? and horr, baby if you busy do tell me k? i will try my best not to disturb baby and dont worry oo.. i wont naughty naughty go do something that will make you angry wan oh.. all i will do is guai guai waiting for you okay~ baby you know i will always stay by ur side rite? i always love u .. muackzz baby!! jia you jia you oh !!! K@mbat3 ya!!!! *
From wen <3>

p/s: It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

friday!!

went to Wangsa Maju find baby today.. we spent a little time together because i have to rush back to take care of my siblings as my parents were not free this day ... and yet .. baby have to stay back there to study for his finals.. anyway .. he is not at klang tis week..

we had a long journey tis day ... well.. it's funny but i'm alright..we had our brunch at fish market1! i suggested it !! haha ... cause i miss the food .. lolxx.. i love to eat i guess...taken some pic pic of him..

"he's poving that spoon can be the mirror"

tat was our outing !! short and fast!! ^^ but it's very happy yo meet him.. i love him...

ohyea .. i wear this shirt today .. was suppose to buy for baby wan .. but then it was too small ... so i gave it to my bro.. and i stole it and wear it on friday ...here's the pic..

that's all lor for my favourite shirt...

To love someone is

to understand each other,

to laugh together,

to smile with your heart, and

to trust one another.

finals over

yay!! Finally finals over !!! and it's someone turn to fight for finals !! hehe jia you orhx!!!

next friday results coming out .. sob sob .. pray hard .. i just want a pass!! pls pls pls...

After finals.. didn't go anywhere celebrate v friends..when my friends going futsal, going movie... guess so ..when me .. i was following mommy all the way to bank and do some stuff and pick sisters brother up and i did facial today !!! hoho!!! funny?? nah!!!

oopsss.... suddenly my brain hang .. and i dont know what to continue ..

ermm.... my finals was alright.. but i still afraid of my results.. sob ..hmmm forget bout finals.. let's talk CAR!! haha .. i love car car carssss... i saw 2 nissa fairladyz today ... hmmm i was thinking .. wat's the hidden message??(nissan fairladyz are coming to me) lolxx... i'm greedy !!! i wan BMW M5!! wakaka ...remember muz white oh...

ohyea!!!i wish to do something towards my nissan sylphy!!! change rims??wheels??whatever!!!

If i can change it onli i think wat to change after tis !! hehe!! ^^

last but not least... here's somthing i think it's meaningful

It seems totally unfair that we should

have to forgive when we're the ones

who have been hurt, but that's the crux

of FORGIVENESS~~

p/s: forgive ain't forget!!!

wednesday^^

had maths class today .. was just revision.. but i think is worth to attend the class.. anyhow, that class wasn't alot of people attended .. not more than 20 .. serious shit..i'm always the good wan^^

after class.. went wangsa maju find baby ... seems like very long never find baby between monday to thursday.. i will always find baby on friday and went for an outing and went back klang together.. but today different case.. my baby lazy attend class .. lazy baby...

lolxxx.. i wore jeans today .. i seldon wear jeans.. can say i mostly never wear jeans... cause i feel vry fat .. sob sob.. and baby you are the first bf that saw me wear jeans.. feel proud huh.. =.= juz jk..

although nothing much at there but at least i enjoyed the moment v baby .. here's my jeans pic taken..

fat huh?! sob T.T

baby i'm sorry for everything.. although i noe sorry doesn't make any sense..
T.T DUI BU QI OH!!!!!!

p/s: finals coming !!!

birthday

My birthd@y!!



i got a normal brithday today yet super excited day !!

i very very happy this day as .. my college mates, ex-school mates celebrate v me..



Most importantly!! my baby came all the way from wangsa maju come find me!! that really hearts me a lot.. "u say can't be able stay by my side when i brithday geh" i said.."surprise?"



Thanks people!! luv you all ya!!



Thanks baby !! i love you!!!





p/s: i'm lazy for longer post.. so just keep it short and simple.. i'm happy!! yay!!

what can i do to forget the past?

one whole week didn't meet u .. it seems very uncomfortable for me.. every night i dream of u .. every moment i think of u .. how bout u ?? do u miss me like i do ?? i was dying!!!!!!!! i wan meet u so badly !!!!!!!!!!nvr ever never meet u for so long!!! at least we'll meet once in a week.. tat's my minimum ..

Alright.. not in mood AGAIN..cause i lost my lao gong good night msg. But wanna state down what i remember bout the good night msg..

1.hmm.. my good night msg eh..don always scare i lie u or wat k? hate the feeling of being check and suspect eh.. my heart onli can fix u lao puo ..
2.nitez nitez lo.. slip early ah u still sick oh..
3. i go slip lo .. faster slip don bluff me oh ...

i think tat's all lo for tat msg .. tat msg help me a lot not to suspect u .. but it's gone .. sob sob..

i flash back the past .. tat hurts me a lot .. i can feel my heart bleeding again.. wat can i do to forget the past?? anyone?? teach me plss.. i just wanna to forget every unhappy things to start all over again with my baby .. it's that so hard??? why my mind onli absorb every sad things?? i did have many sweeet memories with him.. why cant i just think bout it often but not bad experience..

i'm sorry ..

i will be

Am not really in mood now ...hearing the same song again and again..
>>i will be by leona lewis!
hmm..it shows what's in my heart... here's the lyrics it goes..

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

[Bridge:]
I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

[Chorus:]
I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

[Verse 2:]
I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me

[Bridge:]
And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

[Chorus:]
I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

[Ending bridge:]
Cause without you I cant sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want
Yeah
And without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see,You're all I need

[Chorus:]
And I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life), I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

[Chorus:]
I will be (I'll be), all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life, you know I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay


Zhang, i knew i let u down before, but now i wont do tat ever again. i just wanna start all over again v u .. no secret between us, no lies, no hides, no doubt.. how nice if we could be like this...
i really hope so .. i really do hope so .. can we be like tat?? i promise i'll told u everything happen around me ..will u told me everything happen around u too?? *peace* i just love u okay!!

happy valentine's day

happy valentine's day everyone..
i'm feeling so depressed now.. i was spending my valentine's day in my house.. but it's okay with me .. since baby said tat everyday with me was a valentine's day ..^^ i heard it before at somewhere but i like to hear or read words from him..he's really my everything.. nothing can ever change my mind..even the worst thing happen to me .. i choose to be with him again!i'm not nuds..is just i've falled for him.. dont ask me why.. i dont even know why i will be like this.. i never fall for a guy so deeply crazy before..i wanted to know why as well..

i'm sad..u shouldn't say tat to me after i told u all the truth .. i just wish to gain ur trust.. but u let me feel tat i told u everything was a mistake..i really dont know why i'm so untrustable.. yea i admit i lied to u .. but u did lied to me before.. everyones have mistake b4.. i did u did , but we're all learning from our mistakes..u dont want to trust on me when i'm willing to change??at least i'm truthful to you since i couple with u on 25th of july until now..i never lied to u my feelings i never lied to u about my love .. i'm sincere to u doing everything..

i hate to take bus.. i'm tired to take lrt .. i'm lonely to walk alone.. find u alone .. back home alone..but all tat i did just because of u .. cause i knew i can meet u cause i wanted to meet u .. i did all those things just because of u .. i'm scare to drive all the way to wangsa maju to find u .. but everytime on the way i find u .. i told myself ..few more minutes i can meet u .. i just willing to do all these things for u .. i really dont know am i a good girlfriend anot.. but i really do my best to be the one.. maybe i'm too sticky .. maybe i'm too disturbing..but it's just because of i'm afraid of losing u ..

i'm sorry ... i wish to feel wat's inside u .. i wish to be the only 1 in your heart..can i ???




p/s :no more forever from u ..

last decision

最后的决定，我们分手吧！从来不想说出的话，我打从心里说出来了。。在这段爱情里，烦最大的错是你，要挽回的是我。。我很辛苦！因为害怕一个人就跟她交往了整整骗了我3个月。。为什么跟你出来那么多次你还可以若无其事的说你爱的只有我？你不内疚吗？而我。。没有做出对不起你的事，就一直内疚为什么我要去看戏。。后悔了。。我要改过我要让你从新相信我。。而你就一直骗我。。一直骗我。。你跟我说你跟她只是普通朋友，讲讲电话，出来吃吃。。铭漳你到底骗了我多少你很清楚吧。。最大的骗子是谁自己心知肚明吧。。我只骗你2次而已。。就已经足够让我悔改。。我累了。。真的累了。。。我会找回属于我的世界。。你就跟她在一起吧！

在这场爱情里，我选择退出。。不是我不爱你，不是我舍得放弃你。。是因为我觉得你变了。。你不再像以前那么爱我了。。也是因为我不想看到你烦，所以别烦了好不好？我放弃了。。你会很好吧。。她会像我那么爱你吗？没有人会像我那么笨放弃一切爱你吧。。

lazy to type mandarine lar..
at last, i lost you in my world as well.. what forever, what only belongs to me, i really dont know which wan true which wan fake wan oh.. i'm tired of catagorize them into fake or real..i'm tired of crying, tired of suspecting, tired of checking... tot u will be the special wan.. but there's no different between u and other guys.. i felt that now.. love me?? love her?? why 2 timing?? eventhough that, i gave u chance right?? but why are u still hurting me?? stupid me !!! stupid yuki gan mok wen!!!

thought wan get back ur love .. i tried my best proving to u .. but u ?? from the beginning .. u already take my love gave her.. i'm just doing something stupid.. trust u again and again.. gave u chances again and again.. at last.. u ruins up everything.. and dont know wat to do.. why ?? u choose to start this game baby.. u dunno how to end this game up?? "game over" don't u know tis??

i love u .. just 3 words it doesn't seems enough for me to express my love .. no ones know how much i love u .. just heaven and earth!! even u.. u dont even wan to feel my love ... i shouldn't beg u back this time i told myself.. should have let u go long ago.. but those words u told me.. i tot its true.. i tot u love me like u said .. i tot u never do anything wrong to me .. but i'm wrong.. u say i dont trust u .. but u're lying me when i trust u .. wat you've done baby.. u cut my heart.. into pieces... n let it bleed just like tat..

i cant celebrate valentine v u .. i cant pass through everyday v u .. i just wish u could be happy .. maybe v "her"

Zhang, just be happy v wat u have.. don't be greedy .. u teached me tis... appreciate wat u have now.. yea i appreciate u .. but how bout u ?? did u appreciate me?? now i'm out... appreciate wat u have now..

i'm back to single .. maybe i dont deserve for love.. i hate sweet memories.!!!


i'm out of my mind when i'm typing this post.. please forgive me for any words that too over...


people, i'll end this blog here..i'm sorry i break my promise tat i would never end this blog.. T.T sorry bloggy..

*i was born to tell u i love u*

(dont you think it's sweet??it's for u actually)

THE END

hurt..

i'm totally depressed today, i'm alone..i lost eveything in a sudden.. my heart inconsolable.. who cares bout me?? i'm a human being..i got feelings people!! why are you all hurt me again and again?why i don't deserve true love ??why don't kill me instead of hurt me like tat?? i dont like the feeling of hurt , i dont like crying!!

can it be just only a dream??please.. i beg u ..GOD!! wake me up from this dream please.. i'm tired of crying!! i just want someone to love me sincerely..why i don deserve it when i truly love someone?? why ????????

i know.. i know i'm ugly.. i know i'm stupid.. i know i dont know how to be a good girlfriend.. but i've tried my best.. why dont you give me a chance when i'm trying wor ? why did u hurt me when i'm very truly n love v you?? i cant stop my tears.. cant you consult me?? cant you??

i love you.. i love you more than everyone do.. cross my heart.. i appreciate the chance you gave.. last chance you gave.. i did everything well isn't it?? but i still don't get ur trust.. u noe.. i never give up.. how hard was it? how pain am i ? when u dont trust me.. but i choose to not give up.. dont u ever think of tat? why am i not give up?? just because of i love u .. i want u stay by my side..yea i asked for it .. but i'm correcting my mistake isn't it baby??

i got lots of words in my brain.. my heart was bleeding.. my tears was pouring ... wat should i do right now?? will i get the answer from u ?? will i have my baby back?? i'm hurt.. .. i'm scare... hurt because of tat.. scare to lost u .. are u afraid of losing me??wat am i ??? yuki gan .. wat r u????

sob..i gave u the chance .. u noe wat i mean??i'm still here for u ...